Personal
Archives
Saturday, July 17, 2004
***
Masculinity and the Notawoman
I’ve been told I
suffer from a sort of masculinity ..mm.. problem (?) The boy doesn’t
quite describe it as a ‘problem’ per se, but more of a quirk. And I’ve
never really give it much thought until recently, when Mr. Big and I
had this conversation over Shakespeare’s Antony and Cleopatra.
That
ended up in me raving, in bed, about how the play was really about
sexual insecurity. Personally, I thought Shakespeare was in effect
challenging, (or mocking) the men of his era and their perception of
women as creatures that are supposed to be all the time filled with
maternal and domestic concerns. (He didn’t say anything to the contrary
because 1) He couldn’t remember much of the play 2) He knew I’d just
carry on arguing until no one would have any libido left to do things
of more importance.)
I can’t imagine being called a feminist,
but I do like feeling like I’m the alpha whatever in any relationship.
But then again, who doesn’t. Maybe, I take it a step too far sometimes
though. I've this idiosyncrasy that causes me to be absolutely
fascinated with a guy shopping for groceries and doing his own laundry.
Partly because I’m female and would naturally pay attention to little
domestic details, but also because it’s just fascinating.
I
grew up with all these funny perceptions of how women should be
subjugated to men –and I can say my mom’s no help, with her funny ideas
that go along the lines of “Oh my god, they’ve had sex. Good on her
that she’s made him marry her now.” And then one day I realize that
that was all bullshit, and felt the need to remedy the years lost
living in that disillusion.
I’ve always wondered why society
(not so much now, as in the past) constantly subjugated women to that
sort of sexual submission that constrained them from what men did all
the time. I.e, fucking around. If you think about it, it makes no
sense. If more women were less restrained by stupid, unstated societal
standards, then a lot more would be fucking around, which is good for
them, as well as the men. (I leave the definition of ‘fucking around’
to your own moral digression. Pertaining to myself, it's definition
would be sex that is good for your body and good for your soul. Which
might also be akin to making love *shrugs* You decide.)
The
whole idea that ‘sluts’ will never inspire genuine love leading to
matrimonial edicts can obviously be held only by misanthropes clearly
against a more libertine society. The view that a girl with an
illustrious sexual history will never wed, (aside from being bullshit,
given that illustrious is not akin to matching up to Annabelle Chong) is also an obvious show of misogyny and inherent sexual insecurity.
Only
notawomen (men who absolutely feel the need to proclaim that they are
men by constantly doing things to prove that they aren’t women. Like
being obsessed with destruction and constantly feeling the need to go
to war) can be capable of such falsity, and I don’t blame them. After
all, the institution of marriage is the last instance to the validation
that they are the superior sex in a world where women can just as
easily treat men as trophies (I do not believe intreating people as
prizes, by the way, this is just to make a point.); and even this is
being denied to them as the purpose of marriage switches from the
protection and support of females, from a time when they were denied
the rights to a good career (no prizes why I think they were denied
that, and by whom) to becoming a tribute to an equal love shared
between two people of comparable independence.
***
All right. That’s enough ranting for an afternoon.
And in the meanwhile, cheers to all the guys who sometimes, perfectly innocently I’m sure and by mistake, slip on their woman’s underpants .
xoxox
posted by Isabella at 11:11 PM
Friday, July 16, 2004
***
What About Women that would turn Men Off.
(Reason One)
It’s their stupid notion that pussy power is everything.
They think their pussies are god’s greatest gift to men, believing that the warm, sweet tunnel of procreative functioning and it’s relevant catacombs make them absolutely invincible and utterly supreme in a relationship.
Regardless of whether it’s a freshly discovered, candle-light romance or the sort where dinner table conversations revolve around the size of their adolescent daughter’s trainer bra, women will always think they hold the cords of romantic liaison behind the silken coverings of their panties. And they will never stop abusing it, whether they know it or not.
Blame it on society and its mad convention that causes them to believe that every time they have sex, they are giving a part of themselves through sacrificing one bit of their soul for the gratification of the male.
And thus, men are expected to exchange the world for the rather mundane activity of sexual- gratification. For pussy, we are expected to worship them, both their body and their intellect, of which the quality of either is inconsequential. For pussy, we must discard our views on everything, ranging from religion to politics to our ideal romance, to the fact that we really do not care what colour the covers are as long as they do not abrase our backs and stay on while doing the dirty. - Ah, no, I’m wrong; what sort of man cares about the latter. As long as the woman doesn’t insist on making the bed because it’s falling apart while at it, it’s of no consequence.-
Women, for the most part, are insane when it comes to how much their pussy is worth.
You see, one of the fundamental tenets of the problem with affording pussy lies in the fact that it’s worth a great deal. An immense deal. A deal bigger then Exxon being given the modus operandi for all the wells in Iraq. You get the idea, the worth of pussy is colossal.
And because of that, men cannot afford it all the time. Because it is a luxury good, and so luxurious it is indeed, we cannot want to want it all the time. It would drive us nuts to desire such lavishness incessantly, leaving insufficient mental capacity to finish up our
Another problem is that, because of it’s value, we have to be absolutely sure we pay exactly the right price for the right pussy.
Look, pussy is worth a lot, I’m absolutely convinced of the fact. But that your particular pussy is something I would want to afford in the first place is truly a gross misjudgment on part of the female mind.
The problem with some women is that they believe all men cannot resist their pussy. They have this outmoded, primordial instinct within them that creates the assumption that men always want to have sex, and will do anything to have it.
What is it with all these crazy sluts working their way into my sheets, thinking that, being male, I would naturally respond to the laws of nature in exactly the way they perceive my response should be?
I cannot stand women who advocate pussy power.
They cheapen the male species into nothing but a bunch of mechanical functions governed by their need to procreate.
I cannot stand pussy power.
Because, the truth is, in the face of it, I am most of the time subjected to it.
Stupid cunts.
Xoxox
posted by Isabella at 3:14 AM
Sunday, June 06, 2004
***
Talking Cock
Like I really have nothing better to do then reply to an article that was written even before I had my first romance. Heterosexual romance anyway. Heh.
***
What's with the animosity?
It's precisely this sort of inane behaviour from local men (what with all the references to a loose pussy) that turns the local girls off.
Sure there are bastardy, stupid caucasian men out there, but guess what? If the government is willing to let them come here and work, one thing is for sure, they can't be dull. Chances are, they're probably going to be smarter and wittier then the majority of asian men within a mile.
And not all of them are fuckers.
Well, wake up. Men all over the world are the same. They all want new blood; it's just like how singers have to constatly evolve to revive interests in their fans. It's part of being human, part of the authority of conciousness. That it makes imparative a desire for curiousity. Which is also another reason why you can't blame local girls for going after ang mo men.
The grass isn't always greener on the other side, goddamn right you are. But for the individual, it might be just the right shade of green.
People all over have different tastes and different ideals for the perfect relationship. Not everyone is going to prefer man-tou over a croissant, and not every girl is going to want to settle down and raise a bunch of kids so soon.
And besides, who can blame a girl for wanting to raise children under the pristine landscape of Wellington over the mercantile urban landscape of the city?
Men are men. Romance is the same all over the world, and love is a universal feeling. To treat women who have a preference for cacausian men as objects incapable of rational thought in the presence of western blood is a terrible generalization, and no doubt one spawned out of personal insecurity.
posted by Isabella at 7:15 AM
Tuesday, May 04, 2004
The No-nonsense Guide to Self-Entertainment in Singapore
I wanted to put self-entertainment in a culturally homogenized society, but why the fuck would the country being culturally homogenized be of any importance? I mean, yeah, we don’t particularly have a distinct flavour to our country, maybe a couple of icons – like the D24 Durians and the Chili Crab (ah food, food, always food. That’s what the country is all about. Some silly magazine told me how a guy treated food –something to survive with, or as an adventure- is a good gauge of how creative he is in bed. Bullshit.) But so? It’s not culturally dead. It’s incomparable to New York or London or Tokyo and maybe even Hong Kong, but we do have enough engaging things to do that aid us in thinking that Life is worth living on Friday nights.
Here are some of my favorite things to do/ places to be
Nightlife.
Jazz.
1. Jazz at Southbridge
Best Jazz Musicians in town.
Salsa.
2.Xenbar, 32b Pangoda street; Chinatown. Salsa 7 days a week.
If want to learn Salsa, lessons are Monday, Wednesday, Friday, 7-9.
3.Brix, 10 Scotts Road #B1, Hyatt Regency Hotel. Used to have a live band on Monday’s, probably still do. Lessons 7-9 on Mondays only.
Noisy Clubs- or just Great Places to get Laid.
4.Bar New Asia. Terrific view of the city from the tallest building in the state.
Bar New Asia. This place is great, because when you get bored, you can just pop over to CHIJMES. China Jump, Insomnia, expat hangouts, and where the SPGs are at. (I feel like I have no self-respect saying that, but it’s the truth I suppose. I’d pick these hangouts over the more local crowd clubs any day. I just don’t get turned on by Asian men. Whether or not the lights are dimmed.)
5. Zouk don't know what's so damn great about it, but everyone that's been here and clubs goes there, so I thought I'd mention it. No one ever said it was all that fantastic though, but they still go back there again anyway.
6. Beside it is the Velvet Underground. Every last Tuesday of the month they have PoetrySlam. A performance recital event. You can recite your poems and win stuff, or just sit back, relax, and enjoy something different. They also serve some of the best wine I've ever tasted in a club. But I was terribly drunk by then, so I don't know the accuracy of my judgment.
7.If you plan to get laid, I've been told Bar None is almost a guarantee. Even if you don't it's quite nice. And just one level up is The Living Room, which has a nice live band. And Singapore’s most illustrious bartender.
8. I quite enjoy hanging out at Emerald Hill too. Well, heh. We know why.
Well, I’m joking. I just like it. If I went on a date in Orchard and wanted to get drinks, I’d go to Emerald Hill. It’s more loung-y and less clubby like Mohammed Sultan.
9. Oh, and if you want to look at transvestites -I don't know what for. But I find it amusing.- Go to Changi Village. Oh a weekend or something. There are other things to do there anyway, and it's a different landscape. Crappy, like the rest of the country that hasn't been refurbished for tourists, but different. (Disclaimer* I have no hatred towards transsexuals, and my idea of trannies are limited to the stage in the Simon Cabaret in Thailand when I was 10, so I generally see them as show* people for the watching.)
Eats...
1. IndoChine, Nude
[Fusion Cusine. The food's not marvelous, but it's good, and the ambience is just amazing]
2.Ah Hoi [Chinese Food. You'll prolly want to go there with a couple of colleagues. It's supposed to have the best Teochew cuisine in the whole island. 46 Mosque Street in Chinatown]
3.Mark Brenner’s Chocolate Bar. He has this cool drink called the Sackao, where you drink chocolate out of things that look like aromatherapy burners (the smell of cocoa does have such healing properties). You fill the burner with however much milk you want and melt as much chocolate as you want in it. And drink. Sinful. I wonder if they have that ancient drink with peppers and wine and chocolate…
4.Ichiban Boschi (Great Sashimi and you must try the peach dessert)
3 and 4 at the Esplanade Mall.
5. Patara Thai Restaurant (Swissotel Stamford -Bar New Asia's oh... 60++ floors up from it. This place cooks fantastic jumbo prawns)
You want something cheaper - and something that screams Local- You can go to Serangoon Garden’s Chomp Chomp. Or Lau Par Sat. Or Maxwell food court. I was never really into any of them ‘cept for the one at Gardens. And only because I live 10 minutes away. It’s a nice, fun, noisy ambience, and I kinda like that. Marginally. (*sigh* I’m such a spoilt brat.)
Will Update.
All suggestions welcomed!
posted by Isabella at 8:40 AM
Saturday, April 17, 2004
***
How to be a Super SPG
Another irreverent guide brought to you by a self-absorbed, egotistical little bitch.
There are all sorts of angmos out there. They aren’t all rich, nice, interesting and pretty –in order of importance). Some are easy to snag, and some aren’t. But there will always be, for sure, some that are definitely worth snagging (otherwise I wouldn’t be here). Here are some guidelines for acquiring the object of your desire. Or the romance you require.
These are the qualities I believe a Super SPG should have. Not all necessarily have them, but I genuinely think that, well, hey. If a guy is going to spend all the money on you and let you crash at his apartment all the time, at least conform to a certain standard.
I am obviously not into the whole feminist thing. You know, where fat bitches go around proclaiming that “Not all pussies are straight, slender and stunning” Ugh. Well, the best ones are, and bitch, if you can’t be bothered to discipline yourself to go on a diet and work out, stop trying to tell the whole world that it’s image obsessed, because a shallow world is good for the genetic pool. And the girls that bother. I like submission.
Bend over and worship the Goddess.
Anyway:
1) Be Attractive.
For the love of god, if you’re going to have rich dinners at CHIJMES three times a week, try to exercise.
Go on a diet.
I highly recommend a Low-Carb diet. Particularly Atkins, or the South Beach Diet. I believe they are the two most strictest. And SPGs have very low self-control when it comes to indulgence –sluts are like that- So the stricter the better. I don’t know what the fuck The Martini Diet is, but you can try it, and tell me if it works. I recommend a low-carb diet because you can still drink your wine and have steak while loosing weight, and every knows how paramount good food is to good romance.
2) Be Different.
This is so fucking important.
There are days I wake up, and I think I look like a mess, and I’ve got my period and a horrible outbreak, and I just spent the whole of the last night binging on Ben and Jerry’s. But when I get lost in conversation talking about art, literature and ah… my favourite topic: Sex, I don’t think they mind that I look a mess. Boring girls get lost in double quick time, even if they’re pretty. All I can say is, read widely, watch tons and tons of indy films, go to the art gallery, get involved in forums that are frequented by people all the world over, and, be loud and dirty. Asian girls are usually inhibited, so if you’re loud and filthy, that’s different. I know it’s crazy to say ‘do it tastefully’ but it’s possible.
3) Be Independent.
Imperative.
Rejection is the best form of attraction. The more nonchalant you are about getting to get with him, the more he’ll want you. Don’t be too casual about it though, drop hints that you’re interesting, and that you can give him a great time over champagne and between the sheets, but for Christ sakes, don’t throw yourself at him. You’ll reek of desperation.
And I know local guys like those retarded messages with teddies made out of semi-colons and dashes and whatever else, but these guys don’t. In order to make lots of money so they can take your ass out, they work very hard, and have no time whatsoever to reply to such thick-witted, impersonal messages –that blatantly show your lack of creativity.
And among other things,
4) Don’t talk in a fake accent. If you have a tendency to lapse into it, not because you think it makes you sound oh so sophisticated (when in reality you sound like a crazy windbag) but because well, it’s hard to not to attempt to talk in an accent when you’re with him* tell him straight out. (If you can’t pronounce something, just say it anyway and ask if you got it right.) He’ll forgive you. Anyway, you should try your very best not to lapse into an accent. If you have to, take a speech and drama class. There is so much power in a sexy voice. (I’m still working on this.)
5) Wear sexy underwear.
6) Wear sexy clothing. Play dress up. Cheerleader outfits are useful–do you know how many American men have always wanted to screw a cheerleader because they’re really the only slim girls in the U.S?- So is the whole gothic burlesque mock-up (fish-net stockings, garter belts, who the hell doesn’t find that fucking kinky!). And of course the Little Black Dress, It’s a fucking STAPLE –I know that sounds so old school SPG, but hey, all women look good in small black dresses. It’s a staple whether or not you’re an party girl-
7) Don’t be afraid to suggest a ménage a trios. It’ll drive them nuts. Two hot naked Asian girls? That’s reason enough to live.
8) Be creative in bed. If you’ve never had a particularly imaginative mind and a childhood spent watching porn with your uncle while you were recovering from all the diseases little kids get, it’s time to purchase Tracy Cox’s SuperSex, and a can of whipped cream.
When I think of more, I’ll just add’em on. All suggestions welcome. Email them to me :)
As a note of caution. Some expats are only out there for a fuck. They know they’re rich, cute and desired. Be extremely careful if you don’t want to waste your time (and sanity, and what’s left of your meager morality) on those. I suppose you can tell. They are the ones that can never take you out on a date without taking you home later. The mother fuckers.
I learnt all those shit the hard way; and I’m all the more better off for it.
posted by Isabella at 8:09 AM
Friday, April 16, 2004
I haven't lived very long, and I really haven't acomplished very much. But i've lead an interesting enough life to journal a readable blog, I think.
I'm getting somewhere in life, I guess, even though I don't really know where that is; but I do know what I aspire towards. And that's a big paycheck with a 20th story apartment in the middle of some huge cosmopolitan city; Writing trashy articles and irreverant novels in the afternoons, sipping magaritas in the evenings, and having huge servings of mangoes and oatmeal in the morning. Sometimes, I'd also be turning guys out of the apartment at 8 am. "Oh shoo, i've got to work, and don't you have to go and make money so you can take me out this weekend?"
I love Salsa dancing, Painting in acrylics, Writing on just about anything, Indy films, Posing for the camera -preferably with other barely clothed girls- and making sinfully sweet confectionaries. Ocassionally, I like playing jazz on my piano and bass for my brother's band; but I've never really been an audio person.
One flim that I will never forget would be Richard Linklater's Waking Life.
One novel that has made a vast impression on me would be China Miéville's Perdido Street Station.
And one artist whoes work I really adore would be Mark Kaplan.
And I am an absolute sucker for romance. I'm independant enough to be single- and I like being single- but good romances that leave a taste like fresh strawberries with sex like caramel cream? Mmm... more brilliant than anything else in the world.
posted by Isabella at 3:17 AM